Thursday, June 9, 2016

My Fiance is absolutely unromantic-Please help

My Fiance is absolutely unromantic whilst i am a silly romantic who wishes extra obsessive declarations of his love. I'm deliberating leaving him; however should I just try to grow up and be practical and accept that this is what most marriages are going to be like?

I'm sorry this is such a wall of text, but I'm trying to work out whether or not I'm being immature about wanting to leave my fiance for being unromantic. I, for the record, am a HUGE romantic and love to show my fiance how I love him with words and actions.

My fiance is not outwardly romantic. His love language is touch and acts of service, so to him, driving me to work and paying majority of the bills are his acts of love to me. He tells me he loves me multiple times a day and can be very physically affectionate. However, he never expresses any love that would be best described as passionate. He never tells me why he loves me or goes out of his way to do something out of routine to show me that he loves me.

My love languages are more gifts and affirmations. I bake him cakes for occasions, I have written him some very heartfelt cards and even made a scrapbook for him with loads of my favorite quotes about love and a mixed CD inside. The one time I asked him to buy me a card for an occasion, he picked one out from the corner store that had a really really terrible lame joke on the front and was in a color that he knows I hate. I cried at that, because I just didn't understand how he could just completely not understand what I was asking from him, when I expressly explained it. He got mad that I got upset because to him it wasn't that big of a deal.

Because he has services as his love language and because I have more spare time I try to keep the house neater and do maintenance that I can, so that when he comes home from work he gets to just relax and not stress about housework. Although I work evenings he doesn't cook, and when I come home I am expected to prepare dinner for both of us (usually just microwaving something I prepared earlier, so nothing too labor intensive) because he worked all day, and even though I have just come home from work and he has been home for hours, I still worked less than he did during the day so I should be the one to prepare dinner, also he doesn't really know how to cook much other than spaghetti bolognese.

When he proposed two years ago, we were just out walking our dogs about an hour before I had to go to work. Then he pulled the ring out while we were letting the dogs run off leash, sort of stuttered out the question and then I said yes. I really was hoping for some declaration then of why he loved me, or that I made me happier than anyone else, etc., etc., but he didn't say anything else and I figured at the time he was nervous. But also, I had to go to work an hour after he proposed. There was no spending the day together in romance, he just spent it playing video games and I was at work. We never even went out to dinner or had any kind of celebration. Ever since then I've started to realize that he hadn't really thought out the proposal at all and that there was probably never going to be the kind of romance I wanted in my life.

He has shown no enthusiasm in planning a wedding, he says he will just show up, but a lot of the ideas I propose he is ok with initially and then rejects when I bring them up a second time. When I mentioned